Teens and jobs…a mom’s question
July 9, 2011
After my blog post last week, I got this great letter from a reader. She agreed to allow me to share her question and my response. You may resonate with her, and as she did, feel better after you read what I had to say. If you missed last week, read the article below this one.
Her question:
I read the article about teens working. I have read other articles with similar information. The part that I have trouble wrapping my mind around is this: once an adult, the child will forever be an adult. There is a short period of time where the child can just be a child. My son, 15 years old, schools 11 months out of the year 5-7 hours a day pursuing his bachelor’s degree while finishing his high school requirements. He participates in speech and debate, Moot Court, Model UN as well as organized sports. He has plenty of friends through those activities and is honestly very happy. So, am I a bad parent for not making him get a job? (He does do some landscaping when jobs are sent his way and he is required to do chores and he gets no allowance.) Is my perspective wrong? Should I pull him from his studies or activities that he loves so that he can work at the ice cream store up the road? I am not being cocky, I really need to know.
My response:
Thanks for asking such a great question. I can hear in your “voice” the struggle you are experiencing.
It sounds like your son is a very motivated and driven young man. To be working on a Bachelors degree at 15 years old is very impressive!
There are two main reasons I suggest a job for teens. One, it teaches them accountability. As an employee, they are required to be at a certain place, at a certain time, doing a job that requires work. The responsibility that goes along with that gives them a good indication of what life is about. Two, with the funds they earn, they can learn how to manage money wisely. They can start to save, invest, give back, spend and understand budgeting.
Having said all that, I believe your son has the first reason down to a science. Given what you have shared with me, he has a total understanding of being accountable and responsible. This is a non issue for you.
As far as teaching him about money, he does need some way to understand smart money management. I know you plan on purchasing the online money school, which will be a great asset for him. I’m hoping he enjoyed the book and learned a ton. This will give him a definite edge when he gets out in the world.
But, like playing tennis, until you go hit the ball, you can’t really know what it feels like to play the game. You can read and study, which will help you with strategy and rules, but until you get on the court, it’s hard to “feel” playing. So, I’m not suggesting he get a job at the local ice cream store, just for the sake of getting a job, but I do suggest he somehow gets some money in his “hands.” How? Here’s an idea I’ll run by you…
Come up with a figure that you spend on him every month, not including food. Calculate what you spend on clothes, sundries, the activities you mentioned, play money etc. At the 1st of the month, give him that amount of money to budget for the month. Let him experience paying cash for these items and budgeting the money himself. If he runs out of money before the end of the month, let that be a learning experience for him.
You can also include him in your household payments, if this is something you wish to share with him. Take the opportunity to teach him with everyday situations. Whether it’s making him shop for a sale or negotiating a purchase, these daily experiences will help him understand that money management is the key to wealth. It’s not what you make that makes you wealthy, it’s what you keep.
Perhaps he can find a job that pertains to what he is studying. This way it becomes both work experience and income.
He obviously has a great work ethic and is very bright. You have done a great job in exposing him to some wonderful opportunities! As he learns the ropes to being money savvy, he will be well on his way to success!
I hope this helps.
She responsed with feeling much better and understood my point and suggestions.
Summer Jobs: Getting Them and Their Importance
July 5, 2011
I love guest posts and this week I share an article written by a very talented and amazing 17 year old entrepreneur, Micheal Costigan.
Teens who are 16 and older can readily obtain some form of retail service or hospitality job. Readily, however, does not necessarily mean that it’s easy. In most states, 16 years marks the age that students can begin working. Of course, they are limited to less hours, certain work conditions, and other state requirements.
Work experience is invaluable though, and in today’s world, having early age work experience is becoming less and less of a defining stand out, and more and more of a common resume booster. Thus, there are several reasons why teens might find it useful and fun to work — not to mention the financial relief they may provide for their parents given our current economy.
1. Getting a job is not as easy as 123.
Although they are low paying and often not very exciting, jobs for teens are at their lowest existence rates in years. Roughly 30% percent of teens are unemployed. (TIME http://ti.me/kUxfmk)
However, teens because they are less experienced and not usually full-time employees, can save employers significant overhead in a time of tight cash-flow. Teens can capitalize off of this opportunity. Ideally, teens, if they’re able to, should work year around. Summer jobs rarely offer the type of continuity with purpose needed to fully acquaint one with having a ‘real job’. Nevertheless, a summer job, or paid internship, can be an important part of college resumes, practical experience, and oh, learning to be an adult. I typically find that amongst the people I know, less than one quarter of them worked during high school. And when graduation came, many of them went out in a fury looking for jobs. While this may work to a certain extent, having a 3+ year jumpstart over them has helped me deeply in not only the type of positions I am able to field, but the level of confidence I hold in going off to pursue more significant work related ventures.
A job provides structure and places responsibility. Think of it as a way to parent, but where someone else does most of the work for you. The skills picked up as a teen employee will not only set your son or daughter apart in accomplishment, but in maturity and personal fulfillment.
2. Losing a job is as easy as 123.
Just like losing car or cellphone privileges might be easy for your son or daughter to do, so is losing a job. For the most part, teen jobs are disposable jobs. There are many teens that could fill them, and they take little effort or overhead to replace someone if they are failing to meet the expectations of a specific position. That’s an ego strike for most teens, some of whom may even be fired simply because they were not outperforming someone else. Of course there are laws for the appropriate procurement of labor, but hiring and firing always has and always will carry a bias.
The earlier one starts a job, the more experience and confidence he or she will have when it comes to holding down a higher paying job that “really does matter”.
3. Jobs are worth the time and commitment for most teens.
I’ve pretended to be the teen job evangelist for the last few paragraphs, but don’t be misled. I say that jobs are important, and they are, but not every teen is ready for the level of responsibility that one carries. And not every parent knows how to adjust their parenting style responsibly to meet the maturity of an employed child.
The better the job, the more financial independence a teen can earn, the more financial independence a teen has, the more parenting independence they should receive. Yes, you read that correctly. A responsible teen who is working multiple days a week and earning their own money to go out with their friends deserves the right to be able to do so at a greater leisure than previously before. It’s hard, for example, to require a 10 o’clock curfew on your teen, if and when, they have a job that works them past 10 PM four nights out of the week.
I will leave you with this. As someone who’s friends are all leaving for college this coming fall, I would have wanted their parents to have been able to witness their children functioning as adults on their own. For in three months, in effect, that’s what they’ll be. Yet next to none of their parents have ever seen them successfully carry out this feat. Someone does the laundry for them, or buys their gas, or drives them to and from the movies. They’re still asking their parents for money.
Parents, how important is a trial run of your teens’ adulthood before they leave for college? They’re success in life just might depend on it.
Michael Costigan is a 17 – year-old from Orange County, CA. He is a social entrepreneur, public speaker, and truly enjoys helping other’s better understand teen related issues. You can follow him at www.SpeakingofMichael.com
Money and play time…the balancing act
May 26, 2011
It’s not often you walk into a doctor’s office with a few questions and leave with a life lesson. On a recent visit to my doctor, I had somewhat of an aha moment.
We got talking about different medical screening tests and how oftentimes they aren’t always dependable. With some medical issues, blood tests don’t alert us soon enough. He brought up the example of pancreatic cancer and went on to say that, more times than not, by the time that disease is diagnosed, it’s too late.
It was then he said something very profound, which stopped me in my tracks. He said, “you just pray you don’t get it and if you do, you pray that you’ve lived your life.” Wow. Pray that you’ve lived your life. That statement just sat with me.
He left the room for a moment and I just sat there, in my lovely little gown, processing that statement. I quietly asked myself, ‘am I living my life?’ Initially, I got a bit sad, thinking, maybe I’m not. My mind raced with my responsibilities, my hours working, the various projects on my plate, single parenting and more.
As I left the office and spend the rest of the day contemplating that comment, I realized something very interesting. Yes, I was living my life. I found myself reflecting on those things I love; my son, my family, spending time with friends and doing something that makes a difference in the lives of others. I do spend a lot of time with my loved ones and that is precious to me. And, no, I wasn’t living my life. I realized I didn’t include much ‘play’ time. Actually, I had no play time.
We’ve always heard it’s important to live your life to the fullest and never take anything for granted. I totally agree with that and do feel immense gratitude for my life. But, I have to admit, I get caught up in my day to day responsibilities and stresses that I forget to slow down and ‘smell the roses.’
What does this have to do with teaching teens about money? Absolutely nothing. But, it does teach an invaluable life lesson. Yes, it’s important to plan for the future, manage your money wisely and make smart choices in life. But, it’s also important not to get so caught up in planning your future that you miss today.
So, go play. Live your life with no regrets. All the while, be sure to save automatically and watch your spending. I’m off to play some tennis.
The difference between Wealth and a Rich Life…
April 17, 2011
This week’s post is an article written by Alexander Green. I loved his message and had to share with you. Enjoy!
Over the years, my idea of what it means to be truly wealthy has changed a great deal.
As a young man fresh out of college, I equated wealth with a high income -- and soon found myself in one of the nation’s highest paying professions: money management.
It turned out I had a knack for it. Before long I had the spanking-new lakefront home, the ski boat, the Jaguar XJ-6 and all the other toys. When my friends came over for parties -- which were frequent -- most of them assumed I was rich.
I was nothing of the sort. Wealth is not the same thing as income. If you earn a lot of money and blow it every year, you’re not rich. You’re just living high.
My perspective evolved. I recognized that wealth is not about what you earn or spend. It’s about the financial assets you accumulate and the debt you avoid (or pay down). Your balance sheet -- not your income statement -- is the true measure.
Of course, idealists will tell you that money isn’t important, that it doesn’t really matter. I disagree. Money gives you the freedom to make important choices in your life. No one is truly free who is a slave to his job, his creditors, his circumstances, or his overhead. Money allows you to support worthy causes and help the less fortunate. It allows you to do what you want, where you want, with whom you want. In short, money gives you options.
It has its limitations, as well. Money doesn’t buy genuine love or friendship. (In fact, it may bring you just the opposite.) It won’t restore your health, fix your marriage, turn you into “a success,” or even make you charitable if you’re not already charitably inclined.
Money alone doesn’t make anyone wealthy. True wealth is a life rich in love, friends, projects and interests.
Like me, you may know high-net-worth individuals whose lives are impoverished. They are so obsessed with competing, winning and having “more” that they have little time for anyone or anything else. Other economically successful people are less obsessive but remain trapped in stressful, hectic lives. They lack something far more precious than money: time.
This is a bit odd when you think about it. Our ancestors just a few generations removed walked or rode a horse to work (where they often performed backbreaking labor). There were no automobiles, airplanes, cell phones, or computers. They couldn’t have imagined labor saving developments like dishwashers, microwaves, supermarkets, or the Internet. Yet they still found time for leisure -- and would no doubt be mystified by those today who choose to live their lives in a perpetual rush, as if being busy every minute of the day is a sign of success.
If these folks slowed down a little, they might gain a deeper understanding of what is driving them. Is it the intrinsic and monetary rewards of their work? Or is it fear, greed, envy, reputation, status, or some blinkered image of success?
What does it matter how much you make or how prestigious your title is if you spend your days rushing from one appointment to the next, pressured by deadlines and continually interrupting conversations and meals for emails and phone calls? That is not a rich life. Nor is it a terribly attractive image. As an old Chinaman once observed, “man in hurry cannot walk with dignity.”
True, we live in a competitive, 24/7 world. We all have responsibilities and obligations. We want to be productive and meet our professional goals. But that’s just the point, really. It’s a matter of balance -- and making a priority of what matters most.
You may know from my other letters that I am a huge fan of Thomas Jefferson. He was a statesman, historian, surveyor, philosopher, scientist, architect, inventor, educator, lawyer, farmer, breeder, manufacturer, botanist, anthropologist, meteorologist, astronomer, paleontologist, linguist, Biblicist, mathematician, geographer, scholar, bibliographer, translator, musician, gastronome and the nation’s first great connoisseur of wine. He authored the Declaration of Independence, was Governor of Virginia, served two terms as President of the United States, founded the University of Virginia and much more. Despite his many accomplishments, Jefferson noted near the end of his life, “Nothing really matters except your family and your friends.”
Our most precious resource is the short, unknown time we have left on this little blue ball. It is perishable, irreplaceable, and, unlike money, cannot be saved. Americans live, on average, just 28,000 days. That gives us, if we’re lucky, roughly 443,000 waking hours. (And most of them may be behind you.) So it behooves us to ask, “Am I using my time well?”
Surveys show that more than half of Americans feel rushed, stressed and pressed for time. How do you regain control? In much the same way we create investment capital…
You’ve probably heard that to become a disciplined saver you have to “pay yourself first.” That means setting aside at least ten percent of your income before you pay the rent, buy the groceries, or hit the mall. If you wait until you’ve bought everything you want, there is usually little left to save. To avoid this, we pay ourselves first.
Time is similar. If you intend to spend more time on leisure, or with your closest friends and family, or in other high-value activities once you get everything done, that moment remains elusive. Important but less urgent activities take a back seat to urgent but less important ones. So we have to make first things first. (Follow through, of course, is everything.)
In sum, a genuinely rich life is not about income, assets, or possessions. It’s about living your life your way.
Money helps. But that is a secondary consideration. How you spend your time is the first.
Carpe Diem,
Alex
Alexander Green is the Investment Director of The Oxford Club. The Oxford Club Communique, whose portfolio he directs, is ranked among the top 5 investment letters in the nation for 10-year performance by the independent Hulbert Investment Digest.
It is what you say! 3 Tips when talking to your kids about money
August 12, 2010
We’ve often heard the saying, “it’s not what you say, but how you say it that matters.” I agree with that statement; however I have a slight twist to it.
With the present state of the economy, we have watched many families struggle, if not our own family. People are fearful, worried about their future, their kids future, finding a job, paying the mortgage or putting food on the table. As parents, we are concerned that our kids will be traumatized by these experiences and somehow lead a life of ongoing challenges.
The language you use when speaking with your kids can dramatically affect whether they see “challenges or opportunities”, “tests of strength or life as unfair”, “tests of courage or I give up.” Here are three tips that can help you when speaking to your kids.
Tip #1
When the kids are pleading with you to buy something, rather than saying, “we can’t afford that” respond with, “that is not a good use of our money right now.” This statement shifts the mindset from ‘living in lack’ to ‘living with choices.’ We all have choices; we just need to be aware they exist.
Tip #2
Empower your kids by shifting the opportunity to them. In the above example when your kids are asking you to buy something, your response could be something like “what can you do to afford buying this for yourself?” Now your kids have an opportunity to think about how they can make their own money and become independent from mom or dad.
Tip #3
Perseverance in life is a crucial life skill to teach your kids. Whether you are following your dream or getting out of debt, never giving up is a powerful message to give your kids. When talking at the dinner table or on a drive, bring up this important topic and discuss examples in your own world.
Kids are watching you and how you respond to life. Give them the gift of a strong mindset by shifting your own thoughts and beliefs.
We parents don’t know it all about money…and its okay!
July 19, 2010
The final mistake that I feel parents are making is not getting educated themselves. A recent Jumpstart Coalition survey showed that “relatively few teachers felt they were adequately prepared to teach personal finance topics.” Parents and teachers, struggle with feeling educated themselves when it comes to financial literacy. It’s no wonder these topics aren’t discussed at home (number one mistake). Some parents are ashamed or embarrassed to admit they don’t know how to balance a checkbook or truly understand how credit cards work. Understand that it’s okay not to know everything, but it’s important to seek help. Reach out and get the education that will benefit both you and your kids. Empowerment and independence is a gift for every family member. Besides, its good for your kids to see that we as parents don’t know everything.
Teens, money and mistakes
June 2, 2010
This week we’re on to number three!
The number three mistake we as parents are making: Not holding our kids accountable. If your child does something against the household rules, typically there are consequences. Pull on the dog’s tail and you may get bitten. This is how our kids learn right from wrong, good from bad, etc. When it comes to spending money or using credit cards, oftentimes parents come to the rescue. Bailing our kids out of a financial mess, without having them pay the consequences, isn’t holding them accountable. As a parent of a teen myself, I understand how difficult it is to watch our kids ‘fall’, but fall they must, in order to pick themselves back up. Stop rescuing and instead, use the word ‘NO’ more often. Easier said then done, I get that, but start today and they reap the benefits tomorrow.
Number two mistake that parents are making with teaching kids about money!
May 26, 2010
Stop playing the ATM machine!!. Whether your kids want to hit the mall or grab a cup of coffee with friends, it seems the first thing they do is come running to the Bank of Mom or Dad and take a withdrawal. Stop! If they don’t have the cash from their own doing, they just can’t buy what they want to buy. We as parents, myself included, struggle with the desire to be our child’s ‘friend’. As friends we want to do and give in order to please, but as parents, this will backfire. We are doing our kids a disservice if we don’t teach them how to be self reliant. We won’t always be popular with our kids, which is fine. We’re the parents, we’re the disciplinarian. That’s what they need, and deep down, really want.
Watch for number three reason next week! Oh joy :)
Top 5 mistakes parents are making with teens and money: Mistake number one
May 19, 2010
Money is a topic that makes most people cringe. Especially in the present economic climate, it’s generally not a fun conversation to have. I’d like to change that. Some tell me that my mission of teaching financial literacy to teens is similar to turning the Titanic…it’s going to take a long, long time and require a lot of effort.
Fine, we better get moving now then!
Although I prefer to discuss what we as parents are doing correctly, I’ve been asked several times from various people, to talk about what we are doing wrong. Let me start by saying, don’t beat yourself up if you find some of the following issues ring true for you. We are all doing the best we can, so take the information, make the changes that apply and move forward.
Number one mistake: parents aren’t talking! We talk about school, friends, drugs, smoking, sports and more, but never about money. Without question, everything I mentioned above is critical, it’s just not enough. Start the conversation about money over dinner, while driving or when shopping at the grocery store. It doesn’t need to be some heavy, boring talk, which would tune your kids out anyways. The intention is to bring an awareness of spending habits, saving habits, credit card pitfalls, and more, to your child’s radar.
Keep it simple, keep it short. Talk often, listen more.
Stay tuned for next week when I discuss mistake number two!
Fantastic stories by Teen Entrepreneurs
April 27, 2010
I love sharing inspiring articles that I come across. You’ve got to have your kids read this one as well! Enjoy.
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