It is what you say! 3 Tips when talking to your kids about money

We’ve often heard the saying, “it’s not what you say, but how you say it that matters.” I agree with that statement; however I have a slight twist to it.

With the present state of the economy, we have watched many families struggle, if not our own family. People are fearful, worried about their future, their kids future, finding a job, paying the mortgage or putting food on the table. As parents, we are concerned that our kids will be traumatized by these experiences and somehow lead a life of ongoing challenges.

The language you use when speaking with your kids can dramatically affect whether they see “challenges or opportunities”, “tests of strength or life as unfair”, “tests of courage or I give up.” Here are three tips that can help you when speaking to your kids.

Tip #1

When the kids are pleading with you to buy something, rather than saying, “we can’t afford that” respond with, “that is not a good use of our money right now.” This statement shifts the mindset from ‘living in lack’ to ‘living with choices.’ We all have choices; we just need to be aware they exist.

Tip #2

Empower your kids by shifting the opportunity to them. In the above example when your kids are asking you to buy something, your response could be something like “what can you do to afford buying this for yourself?” Now your kids have an opportunity to think about how they can make their own money and become independent from mom or dad.

Tip #3

Perseverance in life is a crucial life skill to teach your kids. Whether you are following your dream or getting out of debt, never giving up is a powerful message to give your kids. When talking at the dinner table or on a drive, bring up this important topic and discuss examples in your own world.

Kids are watching you and how you respond to life. Give them the gift of a strong mindset by shifting your own thoughts and beliefs.

Teen Biz Opportunity unlike any other!

We parents don’t know it all about money…and its okay!

The final mistake that I feel parents are making is not getting educated themselves. A recent Jumpstart Coalition survey showed that “relatively few teachers felt they were adequately prepared to teach personal finance topics.” Parents and teachers, struggle with feeling educated themselves when it comes to financial literacy. It’s no wonder these topics aren’t discussed at home (number one mistake). Some parents are ashamed or embarrassed to admit they don’t know how to balance a checkbook or truly understand how credit cards work. Understand that it’s okay not to know everything, but it’s important to seek help. Reach out and get the education that will benefit both you and your kids. Empowerment and independence is a gift for every family member. Besides, its good for your kids to see that we as parents don’t know everything.

I’m not proud of this one, but I’m guilty too!

Number four mistake: Feeling guilty. Boy, do I know this one! As a single mom, wanting to give my child everything is a natural instinct. If I don’t, the ‘mom guilt’ runs amuck. We need to let go of the thought that we need to give our kids everything. I often hear, “I want to give my kids the things I never had.” I understand this and can relate, but there comes a point where this begins to work against us. If we continue to gift our kids with ‘things’, just because, we are sending the wrong messages. Not always, but oftentimes, these kids begin to feel entitled and will expect that trend to continue. Don’t feel the guilts, instead feel proud that you are teaching your kids invaluable lessons. This is a work in progress for me too, so I completely understand if it comes with some bumps.

Teens, money and mistakes

This week we’re on to number three!

The number three mistake we as parents are making: Not holding our kids accountable. If your child does something against the household rules, typically there are consequences. Pull on the dog’s tail and you may get bitten. This is how our kids learn right from wrong, good from bad, etc. When it comes to spending money or using credit cards, oftentimes parents come to the rescue. Bailing our kids out of a financial mess, without having them pay the consequences, isn’t holding them accountable. As a parent of a teen myself, I understand how difficult it is to watch our kids ‘fall’, but fall they must, in order to pick themselves back up. Stop rescuing and instead, use the word ‘NO’ more often. Easier said then done, I get that, but start today and they reap the benefits tomorrow.